Showing posts with label Lisa McKay. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lisa McKay. Show all posts

Thursday, July 12, 2012

What I vowed never to do

Before I had children, I had a pretty detailed list of how I was going to parent. I was pretty certain on a number of things I would never do, and of the things I would definitely do. Today, whilst catching up with my old friend Lisa McKay (a talented author BTW - you should buy her new book) we were reflecting on just those things. We were reflecting on these lists whilst my 2 children did many of the things on that "I would never..." list and I was hardly even batting an eyelid, although looking back on it now I am groaning and cringing a fair amount.

This is how the hour of our catch up went:
It was within half an hour of dinner time, and I let the boys eat cookies (more than one each) and gave them juice (this was probably Noah's 4th taste of juice ever and Beau's 1st).
I let the boys eat their fruit squeezey packs before the main meal.
I gave up trying to feed them both the main meal (smoked salmon pasta) after about 5 minutes (I usually persevere far longer than this).
I gave Beau a cucumber stick and I just realized I have no idea what happened to that (apologies to Lisa's Aunt and Uncle if they find that in a day or two squished somewhere unpleasant).
I let all of the above happen whilst the boys wandered around the TV room where we were catching up spilling crumbs and juice everywhere. I think I did mention a few times to Beau that he should sit down, but in all truth, there was very little persistence on my part to enforce that requirement.
On the drive home I pulled into McDonald's and bought a cheeseburger and fries and shared the fries with the boys (though I did manage to evade Noah's questions about the name of this "dinner pick up place" under some misplaced belief that if he doesn't know the name of that particular "family restaurant" he may not pester me to go back there. Somehow I think the "salty, crispy, yummy, chips" are going to lead to a fair amount of pestering regardless of whether he knows the name or not).

So what are some other things on my "I would never..." list? A lot of them have to do with food, with bedtime and with sleep.

Food and meal times

I was pretty determined that I was going to cook one meal for my children and if they didn't eat it/like it,  they were going to be hungry. This was all good in theory and I even stuck to it a few times, but then I had a 12 month old, or an 18 month old, or a 3 year old waking up at midnight or 2 am hungry and demanding food or milk or both. In the end it is far better for everyone to make a vegemite sandwich or serve weetbix when the grilled perch and beans, roasted lamb & vegetables, or other nutritious meal is rejected. I can scream and cry and howl at my 18 month old all I want, but if he doesn't want to open his mouth, he won't.

Beau closes his eyes to avoid eating his dinner

I was also pretty determined I was going to introduce my children to a huge range of foods, so that they wouldn't be picky eaters. But following on from the previous point - well it is also far better for everyone, nutritionally, emotionally, to cook meals for them I know they will eat most nights of the week. I won't go so far as to only serve them one type of food - such as only serving them pizza (which I have heard of by the way - for breakfast, lunch and dinner 7 days a week), but I do often take the path of least resistance - googy eggs and soldier toast, frozen peas with every meal, smoked salmon pasta (besides tonights state of affairs this usually is a sure winner), spinach pie.

Sleep and bedtime

I was pretty sure I would have babies who slept through the night from 8 weeks. When Noah did sleep through the night for the first time at 8 weeks I gave myself a little pat on the back (after the initial panic about why he didn't wake). But it was short lived. Noah was 14 months when he began consistently sleeping through the night. Beau was 14 months old as well. Now at 3.5 years and 18 months Nathan and I rarely have a night of unbroken sleep. Between wet beds, bad dreams, wanting milk, being cold, and traffic noise we are really fighting a losing battle with this one.

I was pretty certain that letting your baby cry to go to sleep was the best method and wasn't that hard. That was until I had a baby and couldn't bare hearing him cry. The first night we tried "Ferber" with Noah I think I cried more than he did. I disliked it so much I hoped for 14 months with Beau that he would learn to self-sooth. He didn't. I know that after both my boys learnt to self-sooth to sleep they were both happier boys, but I never understood how hard it would be getting there until I had to do it myself.

I was absolutely never having children sleep in my bed. These days between the hours of about 2-5am we have either 1 or both of the boys in bed with us. I have given up fighting it. I just might buy a King size bed to accommodate us all.

Two little monkeys asleep in the bed

Other "I would never..."

I was not going to let my children watch TV. And whilst we have made the decision to not own a TV for this reason, I have to admit that TV, a DVD, or a downloaded episode of Sesame Street etc, is a  wonderful little entertainer when you have to jump in the shower, make a few phone calls, pay the bills, or many of the other everyday items on the "to-do" list which are best done without a child hanging on one leg or in one arm.

Oh, I could go on and on. But you get the picture. My before-children-I-would-never-do...list is out the window.

What about you? What was on your "I would never" list which you find yourself doing now that you are a parent?


Friday, June 22, 2012

Love at the Speed of Email

A dear friend of mine, Lisa McKay, has just had the exciting honor of welcoming her second book baby into the world, a memoir - Love At The Speed of Email.


I worked with Lisa during our time living in Los Angeles, California. Lisa was the Director of Training and Education Services at the Headington Institute and when I first started volunteering at the Institute Lisa was just publishing her first book baby, My Hands Came Away Red to much acclaim. In fact, My Hands Came Away Red was nominated as a finalist in the 2008 Christy Awards (the Golden Globes of Christian fiction writing). If you haven't read it, you should!


Lisa was a huge support during my first months in a new city she was full of understanding and knowledge of what it was like uprooting to a new place having already lived in 8 different countries. Lisa became an inspiring colleague, and a close friend during my 2+ years in Los Angeles.

A little about Lisa:


A nomadic childhood - Australia, Bangladesh, USA, Zimbabwe.
Dual citizenship - Australian and Canadian.
An international adulthood - Australia, The Philippines, Croatia, Los Angeles, Laos.
An Australian masters in forensic psychology and work in a maximum security men's prison and on a child death review team.
A masters degree in International Peace Studies from Notre Dame University, Idiana.
Work as a stress management trainer in Croatia for a development organization.
7 years as the director of the Headington Institute's training and education programs, providing psychology support services to humanitarian workers around the world.
Author of 2 diverse and awesome books.
Wife to a handsome humanitarian worker, Mike.
Mother to adorable 9 month old, Dominic.
And that is just the synopsis. Lisa writes a fantastic blog about her life: in Laos; as a mother and wife; as a writer; a psychologist; a humanitarian worker. You should pop over and have a read. It is well worth the time. Funny, inspiring, insightful and generally awesome.

So what is this novel about?

Lisa describes the novel as:
"...the story of an old-fashioned courtship made possible by modern technology.
...it’s a grand love story with a happy ending, and everyone loves those. Also, it will make you laugh and make you think."


The back cover reads:
"Lisa looks as if she has it made. 
She has turned her nomadic childhood and forensic psychology training into a successful career as a stress management trainer for humanitarian aid workers. She lives in Los Angeles, travels the world, and her first novel has just been published to some acclaim. But as she turns 31, Lisa realizes that she is still single, constantly on airplanes, and increasingly wondering where home is and what it really means to commit to a person, place, or career. When an intriguing stranger living on the other side of the world emails her out of the blue, she must decide whether she will risk trying to answer those questions. 
Her decision will change her life."


What other's are saying about the book:

"...part grand romance, part travel memoir and part essay on life’s most precious gifts...”
- Susan Meissner, award-winning author of The Shape of Mercy and A Sound Among the Trees


“...[an] engrossing memoir about life and love and home, is a wild ride that spans the globe. At turns funny, contemplative, and romantic, ... [a] modern day fairy tale.”
- Nicole Baart, best-selling author of Far From Here and After the Leaves Fall


“A travel memoir with a deep soul, Love at the Speed of Email takes us around the world but always brings us back to the heart of the matter: humanity’s longing for place, purpose, faith.”
- Leeana Tankersley, author of Found Art: Discovering Beauty in Foreign Places


...a riveting memoir by a talented author and globe-trotter [seeking] the love of her life and a place to call home.”
Gina Holmes, award-winning author of Crossing Oceans and Dry as Rain


Where can you buy Love At The Speed of Email?

Amazon on Kindle ($9.99) or Paperback ($12.95)
Createspace Paperback ($12.95)
Barnes & Noble


Other Reasons to Buy Love At The Speed of Email:


  1. A portion of Lisa's profits on this book will be going to support two charities in Laos: Pencils of Promiseand the Luang Prabang Boat Library. Pencils of Promise builds schools and trains teachers. The Library Boat carries books up and down the Mekong to villages that can only be accessed by boat.
  2. Lisa is running a launch giveaway! "I wanted to run a giveaway to celebrate the book launch, but sending signed copies of the book from Laos is more than a little impractical. Luckily I have another great option – one that supports the local economy and is even more beautiful than my book. Visit the launch blog post before July 13 to learn how you can enter to win a gorgeous silk scarf from the night market here in Luang Prabang."


Book Club

I have nominated Love At The Speed of Email as our next book for book club. We have so far read a diverse range of books including Jane Austen's Emma, Kathryn Stockett's The Help, Markus Zusak's The Book Thief, and E L James' Fifty Shades of Grey. Book club usually consists of a casual dinner, some yummy wine and discussion - sometimes about the book and sometimes about life. I am looking forward to our next meeting in August when we discuss Love At The Speed of Email. Lisa has provided topics and questions for discussion about the book centering around home, travel, love, faith, hope and passion. 


I am just a couple of chapters into the book and already having to drag myself away from it to attend to my children - a sure sign of a great story. I find it riveting despite the fact that I was working with Lisa very closely at the time that many of the events in the book unfolded. I know the ending. I even talked with Lisa over tea and coffee and lunch breaks about the unusual proposition she received via email from a man half a world away that they should start dating. It's a little like "reading [Lisa's] diary" (as her grandmother commented). But it truly is a modern-day fairy-tale. And who doesn't love that!?


Check back in August to hear how our book club discussions went regarding Love At The Speed of Email! In the meantime go and buy her book!