Pregnant in New York

We are excited to be expecting our second child at the end of winter. This will be a second little American for us, though whilst Noah was born in sunny California, this little miracle will hail from the other side of the country, arriving in a potentially snowy, and definately freezing, February New York City. My first concern when we found out we were expecting a winter baby was, "What if there is a snow storm when I need to get to the hospital?" But there have been other hurdles to overcome even in the first half of this pregnancy, which I did not experience during my LA pregnancy.

#1. Smells

Sure, all cities have a certain unpleasant aroma that pervades from the inner streets. But NYC takes city-odour to a whole other level.

Above ground in our neighbourhood of NYC there is a constant smell of urine and feces (and unfortunately not all of this is of a four-legged origin). There is the stink of rotting trash and refuse which is piled up at least weekly on the curbs. There are the fish mongers, butchers and fruitiers of Chinatown spilling the aromas of their trade onto the blackened sidewalk and down the congested gutters.

These smells have been exponentially heightened by the sweltering heat of summer, with average temperatures in June-August making this the hottest summer in New York City history. This heat served to bake and enhance and accentuate the smells and stink of a sweltering melting pot of a city.

Then there is the smells trapped in the public transport systems above ground and below. Take all the aromas on the streets and stuff them into the poorly ventilated compartments of taxi cabs and subway elevators, stations and trains.

Roll all of this into the hypersensitive olfactory organ of a nauseous pregnant woman and the result is not pretty! Gaging walking down the street. Hanging a head out the window whilst traveling in cabs only to recoil when a strong whiff of something or other passes by. Feeling generally green the entire time one has to travel underground.

#2. Driving

Not only do you have to overcome the stenches which are synonymous with NYC yellow cabs as a regular commuter, you also have to endure the stop-start-stop-start nature that is NYC driving. Sometimes, ...no actually often, this is made even worse by the driver who refuses to ever come to a complete stop, jerking forward a millimeter at a time at every red light.

On my best "non-pregnant" days I would emerge from my cab rides needing 10 minutes to recover from motion-sickness. Throw into the mix morning sickness (aka all-day-sickness) and the aforementioned stenches of the city and it is a recipe for disaster!

#3. Cravings

Pregnancy cravings now come with a whole new set of logistics and considerations that they are emerging in NYC. I do not have the luxury in this pregnancy of thinking, "Well I REALLY feel like Dim Sum for lunch" and then stepping into my nicely air conditioned clean and smell-less car. Instead when I crave Dim Sum for lunch I have to walk through smelly, hot, putrid, Chinatown to get there. By the time I arrive food is the last thing from my mind, or my stomach.

New York City's saving grace? In this city you can get almost anything delivered.

Winter Wonderland

Our first snow!

Not just our first New York snow, but for Nathan, Noah and I it was our first EVER snow. What a special moment to be shared by the 3 of us.

Walking through the cobblestoned streets of SoHo together as the first snow flakes fell. Except that Noah was asleep, and therefore oblivious. Still it was romantic and beautiful and picturesque.

After ducking into Patagonia and joining the queue of people also purchasing last minute cold-weather gear, we emerged to find a world transformed. A thin white blanket covered the dirt and grime that usually defines NYC. We walked along with our tongues out, trying to catch snow flakes on our tongues. We heard a few sniggers, and saw a few raised eyebrows from the long-term New Yorkers as we took photos and chattered excitedly about the snow - "Tourists". But no, we live here too, just never seen it snow before.

It snowed all day and soon the whole world was transformed. We ran over to the park when we got home with Noah and made snowballs with the few centimetres of snow on the ground, trying not to scrape up the dirt and grime just below the surface. Noah laughed at us - a lot. I am pretty sure he was thinking, "Crazy parents!" But we didn't care. We posted pictures on Facebook and sent them home to our family.

But we peaked too soon. This morning we awakened to a Winter Wonderland. Almost 11 inches of snow had fallen since yesterday. The world was transformed completely. I made Nathan and Noah dress as soon as we were up and raced over to the park. We made the first snow angels. We made the first snow man. Actually we made the first footprints in much of the park. Noah laughed and giggled. He cried a couple of times when we sat him in the snow. But he pointed and chattered away and seemed to think it was all very fantastical. We made snow balls and never even saw the grime which we knew was down there somewhere - just beautiful white powder.

An hour later and from the warmth of our apartment we saw the park filled with children and families. Each vying for a place to build a snow man or make a snow angel. Ours of course did not survive the onslaught. But they were there. First. That's what counts.

Pediartician obviously failed Physics

Moving to NYC has had its challenges, especially with a baby in tow. Coming from LA, and before that Sydney, having your own car was almost a necessity. Certainly in LA, the city with more cars than there are people in Australia, your car is everything. As a mother, my car became a baby-accessory-storage-box. From diapers (nappies for the Australians), to wipes, to car seat, to stroller, to blankets and toys, and all that goes along with a baby when you need to go out. When I lived in LA, I hugely underestimated the convenience of having your own car (even if it was a 2-door VW Beetle - not the most family-friendly car a new Mother could own).

In NYC, I am car-less. When I need to go out with my son, I no longer have the convenience of already having the car seat and stroller in the car. I need to carry the baby, the car seat, the stroller and the diaper bag, find a taxi, pile everything in, argue with the taxi-driver about not taking off until the baby is strapped in, and then at the other end, repeat it all in a reverse order.

But I really shouldn't complain. At present the infant car seat straps into the stroller and is relatively compact and lightweight. What is concerning is the fact that in a few months, Noah will outgrow the infant car seat and need to move into a toddler car seat, which is both bigger and heavier. More concerning is the fact that I know of only 3 products on the market which address the issue of attaching a toddler car seat to a stroller so that I can get around once I am out of the taxi. Two look useless for negotiating the sidewalk minefields of New York, and the other retails for $1500!

This is the problem I took to our Pediatrician on our last visit, hoping she would have some pearl of wisdom passed on from her own experience or one of the many New-York-Moms she encounters on a daily basis. What do other parents do once their child has outgrown the infant car seat?

I had a number of questions for her actually at our last visit including when can Noah where a bike helmet so that my husband can buy a baby seat for his bike and take Noah riding? Nathan had been wanting to buy a seat for 4 months, and is getting impatient, but all the recommendations we've read suggested that babies shouldn't wear helmets until 12 months + because of the weight and the strength of their necks. Our pediatrician agreed. Definately not until after 12 months, as there are still significant spinal developments which occur up until 12 months, including strengthening and straightening of the spine. She said that whilst Noah was very strong, a bike helmet was still too heavy for him at this stage. It was the answer we were expecting.

What I didn't expect was the response when I asked about toddler car seats and strollers in NYC. The pediatrician said, that since there was no law in New York requiring children to be restrained when traveling under certain distances, most parents just held their babies and children on their laps and "hoped for the best".

This just didn't seem to follow from her previous answer. So Noah shouldn't go on a bike, traveling an average of 13 miles per hour, being restrained into a child seat and wearing protective clothing. But in a taxi, traveling an average of 20 miles an hour, "just hope for the best". Basic physics would suggest this is not an intelligent, wise, or logical answer - especially from one's pediatrician. After all, Newton's first law of physics suggests that if a car is traveling at 20 miles an hour, then any person or object within the car is also going that fast and will continue to go that fast until a net force acts on them to slow them down - such as a windscreen or another person. Furthermore, a child riding on a lap is at double risk - it is not only physically impossible for a parent to prevent the child being thrown into the windshield or dashboard, but if the parent is not wearing a seat belt, or they have the seat belt around them and the child, the force of the adult's body may crush the child. In fact, motor vehicle accidents are the second leading cause of death in small children in the US.

As far as I know, the physics, logic and parental caution that I apply in Australia, LA and every other state or country is the same that applies in New York. Newton's law certainly doesn't change in Manhattan. My arms didn't become super-human when I crossed the Brooklyn Bridge, and my parental concern was not checked at the airport. And surely, the spine I am protecting by not putting Noah on a bike with a helmet just yet, is the same spine I should be protecting in a taxi.

Peek-A-Boo Train

Riding the subway was always going to be one of my least favourite aspects of New York City living. Hot. Stuffy. Crowded. Dirty. Smelly. The general public. And I had to take my baby down there.

Hand sanitizer has become my new best friend when we take the subway. Sanitizing after going through the turnstiles, when I get on the train and again when I get off. I am living in fear of the day when Noah is no longer confined to his stroller or Ergo Baby Carrier and is free to touch everything. On that day, sanitizer will become Noah's best friend too (mind you, I have already found him sucking on the tires of his stroller, so he has effectively sucked on the floor of the subway, and he is yet to display signs of golden staph, meningococcal, meningitis, or other horrible venereal diseases that make a mother's nightmares).

But, alas I digress.

You get the picture, riding the subway, whilst convenient, is not a pleasant experience. There is also an unwritten law, that you don't make eye contact with other patrons of the subway. At least not after the fleeting glance you cast around when first boarding, to make sure you are not going to regret your seating choice after you sit down. This unwritten law suits everyone just fine. Everyone that is, except Noah.

Noah, it turns out, is an exceptionally sociable child. I had thought all babies where as sociable and inquisitive as Noah, but other mothers assure me that Noah is "the most social baby", "the biggest flirt".

I can't deny it. Noah is happiest when he is smiling at someone, when they smile back and when he is surrounded by people. He has an ability to make strangers stop in the street and comment on his "big smile" and his "beautiful eyes". From the gay men in Chelsea, to the Chinese grandmas in the Lower East Side, Noah attracts a lot of attention.

This is why the subway is such a perplexing place for Noah. He has to pull out all his tricks to get a smile from a stranger, even though he is surrounded by them in such close proximity. First of all he tries to catch someone's eye. If that proves difficult, a little coo will follow. Then a small sheepish smile, and maybe a little giggle. If that still fails to gain the desired effect, he may wave, or clap, or both. His little legs may pump in excitement, and more cooing and giggling will follow. It is pretty much impossible for the poor subway patrons to keep their eyes downcast and keep to themselves. I have realised it is next to impossible to ignore Noah and not find yourself smiling in response. Few passengers have escaped his charms once he sets his sights on them.

Quite frequently, when Noah is in the Ergo Carrier and strapped to my chest, he will alternate charming the people sitting on either side of us. To the people behind us, it must look like a spectator at a tennis match. But Noah is skillfully charming the poor and unsuspecting patrons we chose to sit between.

Then yesterday on the subway, Noah stepped up his game a notch. After 15 minutes, most of the passengers around us were wearing smiles and having the occasional giggle, and no-one was minding the "no eye contact" law of the subway.

When we sat down on the F Train, placed between 2 young woman, it all appeared as an ordinary ride. Noah worked at getting smiles from the 2 woman. Both were easy targets, and Noah was quickly satisfied by both of them smiling back quickly and telling him how cute he was. The when one of them left, Noah found a new target.

A young boy, about 7 years old was sitting on the seats perpendicular to us. Within seconds Noah had initiated a game of peek-a-boo, hiding his eyes in my chest before looking up with a giant grin on his face. The little boy caught on amazingly quickly and was soon, calling out "peek-a-boo" everytime Noah looked up. Soon they were alternating who was hiding, and Noah was having frequent giggling outbursts, legs pumping and arms waving.

By the next stop, several other passengers were transfixed by this game, unknowingly smiling at the 2 boys playing. By the time we got off, all 15 passengers were looking from Noah to the little boy and smiling.

When we were out on the platform, I looked back into the carriage. and all had returned to normal - no smiles, no eye contact, just another carriage on the New York subway. But for a few minutes, Noah made those people smile and forget the laws of subway travel, and it was a nice few minutes for all of us.